Is always the same thing... When I realize that I couldnt care less if I will see him again, I get this warm feeling of peace. But the exactly next moment I think "If I really don't care about him, so it won't mean anything to me if I write him a message and he doesn't answer it, so I might as well give it a try. And I can make it as silly as I want, since I don't really care... Is not like I'm risking anything!". And there I go, I write the message, but is obvious that from the moment I give myself the trouble of sending it, I start worrying what kind of reaction will he have and if I will receive a asnwer. Is a different kind of feeling from the other times, more like a morbid curiosity... But anyway, it doesn't really worries me, just amazes me how much I can sabotage myself sometimes over the stupiest things. And the cycle begins once more...